Chicago O'Hare-an excerpt

People watching is one of my favorite pastimes. One by one they go by on the people mover. There’s a Vietnamese woman wearing gloves and a surgical mask. I’m not sure if she’s a germaphobe (sp) or just coming out of surgery. But then again, maybe she’s the smart one because there are people sneezing all around me and all I can think of is the bird flu. The next interesting human is a guy with his pants up to his armpits, and a really bad combover, whom I’m pretty sure has to be a pedophile. Two women go by with orange and purple Crocs on (I still don’t get that trend). And apparently some Floridians have followed me here because there is a woman walking by with lime green pants, a yellow flower print shirt and a sun visor on that screams, “I just vacationed in Naples where we looked at condos the days it was raining, but didn’t buy anything from the poor real estate agent that drove us around for two days!” But the best one is the Japanese woman who looks like the Louis Vuitton store vomited all over her and she didn’t bother to clean it up. That’s right, head to toe in Louis. Hat, purse, belt, sunglasses, AND even the suitcase! Maybe Louis is paying her to advertise. THIS is why I love airports.